Reality Check // Week 12

A long long time ago, I wrote a post for #reverb13. Yes, that's right, it was in 2013! The first time I had done reverb ever! The prompt was on Christmas day, December 25th. Covet | What did you covet this year? My response, in short, was (and still is) time. The full post that I wrote is linked here at my previous blog site.

This month, while pondering habits, and the personality traits, tendencies, and values that shape our view of change, one question I have felt very unwavering in my response to is whether I value time, money, or effort more. It is absolutely time. For me, time trumps everything.

I am an efficiency nazi. I won't attribute it entirely to Asian heritage, but it has something to do with it. Nurture + Nature.

I don't like making multiple trips to run errands. I'll plot an elaborate day that includes every stop I need to make, in an order that makes sense for proximity and practicality (like if I need to get eggs and meat home to the fridge relatively quickly) rather than go one place and come home. Go another place and come home. Once I get through the door, I obsess about getting into comfy clothes and snuggling up with my puppy. And G.

I don't like spending hours and hours (or god forbid days and days) doing a single task. Such as cleaning house. I like a clean house. But when I see my time being gobbled up in big swallows by a single task my heart starts to race with anxiety. I would rather clean as I go, little by little. So that my house is never a mess to begin with. And, when my time is deposited at short intervals, it seems like less of a commitment. That being said, there's no way I can clean the whole house by doing 15 minutes here and there. And since I value my time more than my money, I hire out the deep clean once a month.

I overestimate the amount of time I need to do something. This is so that I can establish the mindset that it will take me a certain amount to get a task done and not become infuriated when it's not. I almost always end up being pleasantly surprised at how efficient I can be. The amount of time it actually takes me: the same. The mindset I proceed with determines whether I get angry or feel accomplished.

I love to take long vacations to far off places. This is partially a personal desire, not everyone likes to do this. But, I cannot see myself conserving my money for whatever contingent situation people are looking for instead of investing in their experience on Earth. Time is limited. I am young and able. I can hike the Tongariro Alpine Crossing now. Would I have more money saved away for grand trips in retirement? Quite possibly. But, I may not be able to do the same things then as I can now. I don't dare waste any of my youthful time.

I value my time so much that for me, having children isn't something I can see happening. I just can't fathom giving my time to a cause so all consuming, so needy. I love children and babies. G can tell you, I melt into a puddle. I love giving my time to them and being astonished by their humor and innocence. But I love that I can choose it, and it's temporary. I have so much respect for parents on this issue of time because I am so greedy with it.

I scored the highest in two categories for Love Language. Physical Touch (11), and Quality Time (10). The other three languages ranked so low they're not even worth mentioning here. I value time so much that the best way for my wife, family, and friends to show me how much they love me is to give their time to me. I don't want gifts. Or compliments. Or favors. I like to spend time with people. I like to engage in activities and projects with people. I like to connect with people. Yes, I'm an introvert. That means I don't want to do these things with 30 people at once or for multiple days in a row. That's what my #reverb13 post focused on. For Christmas, if I could have anything, it wouldn't be things. It would be time.

I am worried that as I get older this issue of time is going to make me feel more and more claustrophobic because I will have less and less of it. And more cannot be created. Every day is a gift. So I will spare no expense, I will spare no effort. My time, at all times, will be maximized to the fullest. And, to take my own advice in my post from December 25, 2013, I will appreciate all of the little things. Because doing that somehow slows down time.

#RandomThoughts