#reverb16 // April Showers

Sarah and I are continuing the #reverb challenge into 2016 with monthly prompts, you can join in anytime by signing up here. There is no obligation to write every month or even post what you write, signing up is just about receiving a prompt and using it as you wish. Use the #reverb16 hashtag when posting on social media so we can find you!

April Showers | April is a fickle month. Potential for snow (at least in some places!), lots of rain, and sunny days in the near 80s and windy days in the 40s. April is temperamental, for sure. Are you a fickle person? How so? Or do you sometimes feel moody? How do you deal with moodiness?

Am I fickle? No. I am probably the most reliable, predictable person you will ever meet. If I do change my mind about something, be prepared to hear about it via full verbal dissertation prior to the expectation that I will actually be/do what you thought I was/would do. No one ever guesses where they stand with me. Even if I try to hide how I feel, it shows. So I don't even try. I am an open book that reads exactly the way you'd expect it to. No crazy plot twists.

As a questioner, I weigh my thoughts and actions very carefully against hundreds of internal checks and balances. I always do what makes the most sense for me. And, while my mind can change as circumstances and the environment change, anyone who knows me well can write the ending to any scenario if all facts are known.

I'm going to come back to that quote that seriously baffles me. Yes... still! "Don't assume that once someone knows things the way you know them, they will choose what you choose." This has been so profoundly confusing to me that I've written about it twice in detail so far. Here and Here. You'd think I would GET IT by now. But alas, I am still struggling.

And I think I just figured out the reason why.

I am so predictable. I make choices according to a simple logic. That logic never changes. It makes sense to me. That absolutely does not mean that it makes sense to anyone other than me. However, those who know me well, understand my logic. And, if they see things the way I do, then they know what my choices will be. And they can assume what I will do, and be right about it! G is one step ahead of me every day of my life!

I believe my expectation is that everyone carries the same logic as I do. Of course they don't. But I am only me... so while I can put myself in someone else's shoes and see things from their point of view, I cannot adopt their logic, and cannot predict their choices. I feel frustrated when others are not predictable. When their logic changes, I cannot learn a pattern of behavior that applies to a variety of life events. Damn Geminis! LOL. Who is a Gemini? G is of course. Along with a good 60% or so of the rest of my friends. The universe is definitely trying to teach me a lesson.

So, am I fickle? Not one bit. Am I moody? I can be, but on the whole I am extremely even keeled. No huge ups or downs. I do get super excited & squealy. And I get sad and ugly cry. But it's usually related to an acute event. Not just every day stuff. And never ever ever for no reason at all. I don't do random arbitrary feelings.

If I do get moody, it's usually because I have something on my mind that I need to talk about, but my ability to verbalize hasn't caught up with my thoughts. And then G, the amazing wife and partner that she is, has to drag that shit out of me. But, she can also call me on my moodiness, and I can snap out of it super quick. Because, while I can't necessarily speed up my ability to verbalize what's on my mind, I can choose how I express myself. And, my intention is never to make other people suffer in any way for what's going on internally with me.

This is great, right? It's a wonderful personality feature. But, it's also limiting in that I expect if I call someone else out for being moody they can and will just snap right out of it. HAHA. That happens exactly never. It's another issue with me expecting others to be like me. And I'm not saying that the way that I am is better (although that would make you personally more easy for me to deal with and understand) I accept that we are all very different and come from different places. No matter how much I'd like our logic to be the same, it never will be.

April, I don't like you for your fickle moodiness. Your logic sucks. Please, be more like me.

Pardon me while I go work out some ego issues. ;)

#reverb16